I plan to do a speech this week to depict anxiety, and my experiences with it. I thought posting it may help readers and also I personally wanted some feedback (I’m encouraging both)
“that feeling that over takes your soul in its most intense moments body shakes, whether the leg know it or not it begins doing its own dance, fingers begin picking and scratching at the skin with such ferocity that blood begins to pool
Breathing becomes shallow, pressured and painful
Sounds become blurred, eyes water
These sensations become overwhelming, the only sensible way to overcome them is ride it out, to embrace the fears, the sadness, the pain
Anxiety occurs in all of us from time to time in our lives. The intensity, frequency and duration however is greatly varied in the population. Some people are anxious over meeting new people, a project due at work, telling someone how they really feel, spending money, making a change, moving on, or simply driving down the street. There is hope though, and you’re not alone. Anxiety shows up as symptoms of other ineffective behaviors, substance abuse, eating disorders, compulsive rituals, picking or cutting skin, shopping, gambling, playing video games excessively, and so on.
In my heart, I feel deep compassion for those that suffer from everyday to crippling anxiety. I have been personally diagnosed with GAD or General Anxiety Disorder. It’s affected me in ways that are not always seen by others, because those that suffer including me have become proficient in wearing what I call a Mask. I can act the act, talk the talk, and walk the walk when it comes to seeming reasonably “ok”. I need to control my surroundings, future and my influence on others is all carefully monitored by my inner worrier warrior.
At this time I don’t know how to turn it off, and it may never turn off completely, but I’m proud to say I have worked with diligence and compassion for myself to turn the volume down on that little voice that tells me ‘do more, not quite good enough'”