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kindness

Day 22-30 of the 30 Day Challenge to Be Kind to Yourself

Here is the final rundown of the last days of the challenge. I got a little caught up with life and I forgot to post on social media 2 of the last 9 days but I have definitely did not let up on my intention to Be Kind to Myself.

Day 22: Relaxing Outside... All it can take is 10 minutes to ground yourself after a busy day, or a hard workout or a bad mood. I decided to get down on the actual ground under a tree and imagine myself rooted to the Earth, feeling as sturdy as the tree I was resting under. It was rather powerful to feel that connected to the Earth.

Day 23: (Didn't post) Window Shopping... I had a lot of restless energy this day so I decided to walk around the mall for a few hours. At first, I started to get all caught up in thoughts about not being able to afford things I wanted and how can anyone afford nice things. After some thought about that I landed on the idea that I am grateful for what I do have, and allowing myself to spiral into thoughts of lack was not going to help me move towards abundance.  I ended up buying myself an iced coffee and enjoying strolling around till I tired out. 

Day 24: Spending quality time with my dogs... I am such a dog person I could spend my entire day focused on what my dogs and I could do together. So that's pretty much exactly what I did. We went to the pet store, then to the dog park and then sat outside a coffee shop while they enjoyed some bones I brought with me. It was super nice to see them have such a good time.

Day 25: Stretching... Finding space in tight spots is a struggle for a lot of people. I at times find myself sore and wanting to not move if I don't take time to stretch. Focusing on how I feel in my body helps me live a more balanced life rather than disconnecting my head from my body. When I've been disconnected from my body in the past its led to unhelpful and unhealthy behaviors that have not served me, so focusing on this can be a blessing. 

Day 26: Quality time with my Husband... At times this feels like such a luxury since we both find ourselves busy with one thing or another. Setting the intention to do something together generally helps me feel more connected and grounded in our relationship. This is true when I spend time with anyone I love, the more quality time in my life I get with them, the more full I feel. 

Day 27: Yoga at my office... Spending some time doing spinal twists and some cat-cows helps break up the day of sitting behind my desk or in my counseling chair. Getting on the ground and practicing some yoga poses was exactly what I needed. 

Day 28: Bring my dog to work day... Another day where my dogs came into my practice to be kind to myself. Having a dog around reminds me that I can love myself unconditionally just as my dog loves me unconditionally. Its truly a splendid feeling. 

Day 29: (Didn't post) Dinner with a friend... This is something that I truly cherish due to the feeling that as I get older, its even more of a struggle to make new friends, so if I can capture the time I do have free with times with friends I can feel more connected to the diverse community we live in. 

Day 30: Hike...Well as you can see being outside is one of my favorite things to do, and I finished this one off with a video talking about my email course on Moving Towards Self-Love that has information about the science of our brain and applicable tools to find yourself by loving yourself and why it is so valuable to do. 

 

Email me at hello@stephaniekontercounseling.com if you'd like to sign up for the email course. 

Days 14-21 of the Be Kind to Yourself Challenge

The last half of the month I was having some days that I struggled to find a new thing to do that was relaxing. Apparently, I'm more a creature of habit then I thought, so it was good that I was able to self-reflect on that and perhaps can continue to push myself to go outside of my bubble when I think if acts of self-care. I hope that if you were able to follow along that you were able to gain some new insights for yourself, and if you missed it, feel free to go on your own journey starting right when you read this. Its never to late to start. 

Day 14: Writing... For me, writing is therapeutic perhaps even more so at times than talking things out. Also, I view it as a vehicle to share information with other people that can be nicely organized and is hopefully easy to digest. 

Day 15: Coloring... This was a simple one to enjoy, perhaps adding music to it would have been impactful, however, I enjoyed the quite and the colors. I think at times we prevent ourselves from enjoying simple things by judging how we do them. I've practiced letting go of that as often as I can and just let myself create.   

Day 16: Face Mask... These are always nice since it practically forces you to at least be mindful of how your skin feels for 15 minutes. I think a great practice of body awareness that we can often miss out on is how our body feels when we touch things or things touch us. For example, how do our feet feel on the ground, and notice that not only when we notice discomfort but also peace. 

Day 17: Singing Bowl...This is a practice of patience due to the attention to where you are moving the mallet, to the speed of the mallet and to the position of the bowl. Anything that takes attention to detail can really help distract you from negative thinking if you do it mindfully.

Day 18: Ran and Joined a Team...Being apart of a movement or a team has always helped me feel like I'm connected to something bigger than myself. That sense of community helps humble me and know I cannot do everything on my own, no matter how much like Wonder Women I like to believe I am. 

Day 19: Essential Oils... Having essential oils diffusing I feel helps set the tone and intention for my day even stronger than stating an affirmation. I consider it an added plus to the emotional work I practice and help guide others along. 

Day 20: Healthy Meal on the Run... Although this was not a planned act of kindness I was able to find the beauty in taking care of myself. We have to do it every day if we want to thrive, even when we are so busy we run out of time to sit and enjoy each meal. 

Day 21: Podcasts... Today was a difficult day, and I needed this time for myself to just veg out to something I enjoy doing listening to inspirational and interesting people speak about their experiences and words of wisdom. This is especially powerful for me when I feel like I've run out of words that are helpful myself.  

Days 22 to 30 will follow tomorrow. 

What I've done in the first 13 Days of the Be Kind to Yourself (Myself) Challenge

First off I want to say that it has been feeling very intentional, uplifting and rewarding to have been doing an act of kindness every day for myself. I hope that others have been following along or hopefully get inspired to go on their own journey of being kind to yourself! Don't forget at the end of the 30 days (March 31st) I'm launching a 7 Day Challenge; Moving towards Self-Love and Self-Acceptance that you have to sign up for by signing up for by emailing me at hello@stephaniekontercounseling.com (which will also give you access to my newsletter, and other workshops, information about giveaways in the future. 

So enough of that, here is the 13 days in review:

Day 1: Gratitude journal; This experience reminded me of just how often I forget to see the positives in life. My favorite metaphor for this struggle is when you look at a rose bush, do you choose to look at the thorns or the flowers... So look at the flowers in life first. 

Day 2: Painting; Painting tends to challenge my need to do things perfectly, so when I intentionally practicing enjoying creating something and doing the best I can, I tend to experience a lot more joy from the experience.  

Day 3: Taking a nap; Oh taking a nap, what a challenging thing to do when you are so used to the go-go-go of life. If you take time to just rest during the day, you'll get benefits like feeling refreshed, like you can restart a day if something challenging has happened, and overall be more focused and alert rather than drained and droopy. 

Day 4: Hiking with my dogs; This activity is honestly one of my favorites, it serves my love for being outside, for getting those exercise endorphins released and spending time with my dogs. For me, this is a must. Your "must" might be something different, find out what it is and do it regularly. 

Day 5: Listen to an audiobook; I do listen to podcasts before bed, or audio books or music when I work out, but this was an intentional act for me to do it in the middle of the day and just relax. Again, not something I am accustomed to, so practicing doing something quite during the day can help you refocus later. 

Day 6: Began working with a personal trainer; Oh man was this a challenge. I'm so used to just doing my own thing at the gym, so when I invited a personal trainer into my life I was a little cautious, but when we got going I remembered what it felt like to be on a team with one goal and mind and that comradery is definitely what I needed to be even more kind to myself in workouts since it boosts my overall level of motivation. 

Day 7: Pre-made healthy breakfast smoothies; Me a breakfast don't always get along, I'm one of those slow to wake up people, so pre-making a healthy smoothie was well worth it, since it served my desire to sleep more other days and that is definitely me working towards my strengths and an act of kindness to myself. 

Day 8: Practiced meditation; Once more this is not something that I typically do, but know it would help me be a better me. So I hope to incorporate this more into my life because taking just those three minutes to focus on my breath and the essential oils definitely calmed my nervous system right down.

Day 9: Pampered my self at a salon; I loved this, my favorite part of any salon trip is the massage I get on my head, my feet, my arms you name it's for me. So even though I got an amazing haircut, I also intentionally focused on my favorite part to soak up all the feel goods. An act of kindness to me!

Day 10: Took time to plan out vacations and fun things; I tend to be a workaholic, so if I don't plan breaks and vacations it won't happen. I can be spontaneous but I tend to be a planner. So making sure I take days off and schedule myself to do fun things I won't feel the impulse to just work through it. So spending that 20-30 minutes to plan felt well spent.

Day 11: Made Kombucha; I love to be creative, I love it when my stomach feels good (a problem since I have IBS), and I love making food/tea/coffee etc. Making Kombucha is an act of kindness because I love it. Anything can be an act of kindness if its something you love. 

Day 12: Cuddled with my dogs; My dogs are my babies, so any time spent with them is rather delightful. When I focus on how we make each other feel good it amplifies that feeling. I love them, and care for them, which fills their needs and they are loyal and help me feel happy when I need some extra love which fills my needs. Its a pretty great partnership we have going on.

Day 13: Roll out my  legs and mindfully apply lotion on my arms and legs; With training for this half marathon and engaging in long distance running, my muscles get sore, my skin gets dry. I get more thristy. So focusing on taking care of myself when I'm not out there hitting the pavement is just as important as being out there. I haven't used my roller as much as I'd like, or used lotion as often as I can, so practicing that was a good reminder of how good it feels and that its worth the time it takes do just put some extra kindness into my life. 

 

 

 

5 Love your Body Practices

1. Go on a gratitude walk.

In our busy world and life, it's easy to overlook the benefits of simply moving your body with pleasure and gratitude. Practicing gratitude with movement reprograms your cellular biology much faster than just gratitude alone. Movement can make improvements in areas of digestion elimination, serotonin and dopamine. It'll also develop the will center of your prefrontal cortex, making you more committed to your self loving practice.

2.  Eat with the vision of love

Put guilt and shame behind you when you eat, and eat with love of yourself and nourishment in mind. Take a look at the emotional need behind the craving of certain foods and figure out how you can lovingly care for yourself in a pleasurable way, without the need for food for emotional avoidance. Try replacing the habitual consumption of food with an action: try an activity you've postponed, put energy toward developing a friendship or relationship, honor your creativity, explore something new that gives you pleasure.

3. Give yourself an all-over-body hug.

Treat your body to something that your body craves, such as a hot bath with Epsom salts or essential oil body scrubs. Utilize the caregivers around you for a full body massage that its just the right pressure.  As you do these, imagine you're washing and melting self-judgment away.

4. Health the relationship you have with yourself and you body

Look in the mirror and say "I love you". Start by place one hand on your belly and one hand on your heart, and tell yourself out loud how much you love every inch of YOU.  Say it like you mean it.

5. Give your body rest

Sleep when you need to and let yourself rest often. Taking care of your body is not a sign of laziness or not being motivated, its a sign that you are taking time to love and respect your body.