Therapist Blog


Bringing in the New Year without the Stress of Typical Resolutions

Happy New Year everyone,

Within the last week, I've seen a lot of people reflecting what has happened in the pervious year, the highs the lows, where they have been and where they'd like to go. It also seems like there is a trend to move away from the traditional "resolutions" that are associated with the New Year, which in my opinion shows how people are becoming more realistic with themselves. Now I don't have the research proving that less people are making Resolutions, and this is purely anecdotal, however it is a trend I'd support.

Putting pressure on yourself to change your body, your finances, your relationships can be hazardous if you are expecting quick results. This is rather unmindful to expect to plow down these goals without the right resources and support. Plus, only 8% of people accomplish their resolutions.   I believe this is because of the rigid mindset that people take when creating their resolutions, they disallow flexibity and believe that once they are off track even for a day or a week that they start thinking "whats the point, I already failed, I might as well as not try". Or they have even deeper internal beliefs (perhaps unconscious) about themselves that get in the way such as "I'm lazy", "I'm too weak", or "I'm stupid". 

This is not to say that its impossible to make a healthy choice and intention to change your life, my point here is that it takes more than a step by step plan, it takes a healthy mindset and perspective. Lets look at how external and internal pressures might change the entire feelings and thoughts towards a behavior change.

An external pressure may be from another person or system that exists to complete a work assignment by a certain time line, this pressure can often gets muddled with shame, guilt, and fear, if you don't have any internal desire to complete said assignment. Now, what if the drive was internal, for example you arrive early to work not because your boss wants you to, but so you can settle in, drink your coffee without interruptions, turn on the music you like or put essentials in your diffuser and just sit and get in a good mindset for the day. Change like that would be driven by feelings of satisfaction, peace seeking, and being kind to yourself.  

Resolutions can be achieved if its something that comes from an internal place, with a healthy mindset, and making intentional choice not to beat yourself up if you are not always "perfect" with it. Having support to reach your goals is also helpful, and if therapy, coaching, a solid friend, partner, or parent is what you need to accomplish your goal, then ask for that support.