Therapist Blog


Life is Complicated

Trying to have everything in life organized can often times feel impossible. Having a list of emotional worries/stress can add to what feels like an already overwhelming life. For example a list of things that need to be organized are:
After school practice
Projects for school or a club
Part-time job schedule
Your living space
Social time
Family time

A list of possible worries to add to the list of this that need organization:
What you look like
Who likes you and who doesn’t
Trying to pass your classes or get A’s
Getting into college
Your parents divorce
Your relationship with friends or boyfriends/girlfriends
How popular you are
Disagreements with your parents or siblings
Just to name a few...

With all of this on your plate it’s easy to forget to take care of yourself because your just trying to stay afloat with all the thingsss.... What are you to do, you might ask?!

Well the first thing is slow down, if you find yourself rushing or needing to numb out the things, you will most likely not be able to do anything to your standards. So slow down, pay attention to your feelings and think through your actions.
Next problem solve, how can the situation your faced with get even 10% or maybe 1% better? Is it by creating a pros and cons list, talking it out or just listening to your gut that will lead you to a improved situation?
Finally if what you decided to take action doesn’t work how you envisioned that’s okay. Work on accepting it and not beat yourself more, because it not working the way you wanted means that there are other ways to approach the situation that you may have not tired and that’s okay.

Remember you are doing the best you can, and that if you had the tools or experience of how to deal with the situation, you would have already been doing just that. So cut yourself some slack and slow down and repeat the problem solving steps.
If you feel like you need more guidance don’t be afraid to ask for it.

"I feel fat"... How hearing this has me feeling some kind of way

When I hear "body hate" verbiage, it has my skin crawling.

Tolerating hearing people say:

"My friend told me I am getting too round.."

"Does this dress make me look fat..."

"I am always trying to squeeze my body into..."

"I think I need to diet..."

"No pain, no gain..."


All of these statements continue the discussion and spread of body hate, fueling the negative self-talk in our heads, and depriving us from joy of where we are in that moment. Suddenly we become so body focused, we forget what other feelings we are experiences and the mind most likely goes straight to "what's wrong" with you. Its time to set boundaries, change the conversation.

The conversation can look like:

"I am valuable"

"I am important, in every size"

"My body is my own, and I will honor it"

"I feel strong and hopeful"

"I am me, and that is prefect"


If you can find yourself stating these things or others like it, these conversations that you'll overhear or maybe be a part of, will have less emotional and mental impact on you. You'll grow tolerant and may be able to change the conversation to something healthy.