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Therapist Blog

Why Couples Counseling is so Valuable

Often times we may not seek help until we really needed it. We may think we don’t need it or things will resolve on their own. Here are some quick tips to help support your relationship that can also be explored more deeply in Couples Counseling.

  1. Relationship issues are never just one persons fault: The problem is in the interaction, the dynamic that two people have developed and honed over time. Even though its easy to blame the other party attempt to bring attention to what part each person has in the conflicts.

  2. Embrace that each of you is different and will think and feel differently about things: Being different actually helps us grow, because we are more aware of different ways rather than the way we have been doing it, when we see being different as a negative unhealthy patterns begin to develop and we begin opposing them rather than taking time to value them.

  3. Stop making assumptions: Without complete communication with your partner, assumptions can start to creep in about what the other person is thinking, feeling, or doing. Some individuals in. couples will then act on their own perception without fully getting the whole truth. Its unlikely to know exactly what your partner is thinking, so be aware of asking and maintaining an open mind to what they say.

  4. Its not helpful to talk in absolutes: Often in arguments people jump to “you always do this” or you “never do that”, communicating in this way alienates you from your partner because nothing is always 100%, people vary in the way they behave everyday. If you want to communicate something you don’t like that your partner does try to focus on what they may have just did in that moment, rather than combine what you may think “always or never happens”.

  5. Relationships are about the little things not grand gestures: Partners interact typically every day in some way, its helpful to remember that your partner is looking to receive something from you everyday whether thats a hug, an affirmation, doing a chore or whatever, by being attentive to what little things your partner may need they will likely follow through and respond by giving you want you need.

These are just some quick ideas, its important to have safety and stability in your relationship, if this is lacking or you are worried about how your relationship is playing out reach out today for support.