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Therapist Blog

emotions

Struggling with ED

Recently I've found it quite helpful for clients to separate the voice of their Eating Disorder from their own voice. To help personify this additional voice its often called ED in the world of Eating Disorder treatment, which I believe originated from the book "Life Without Ed: How One Woman Declared Independence from Her Eating Disorder and How You Can Too" by Jenni Schaefer. 

By separating these two voices, the hope is that you can regain some power in your own voice, and remind yourself that its the ED that is telling you to restrict, binge, purge. over exercise etc.

An eating disorder becomes a relationship, and this relationship although abusive becomes whats closet to you, what comforts you when you feel out of control, and what can uniquely torcher you. This relationship can last for years like a nasty marriage that hides in the shadows of pain, isolation, and secrecy. Its never too early to divorce your relationship with ED, no matter how daunting it seems, hope is around the corner. 

Here are 5 steps you can take to separate yourself from ED:

1. Call it out for what it is, it's a painfully annoying relationship with your body, food, emotions and thoughts. Its an eating disorder

2. Seek out support from family and friends that are strong supporters 

3. Work to notice what thoughts are ED thoughts and what thoughts are your own

4. When facing an ED thought, think of what facts, evidence, proof you have to dispel the ED thought

5. Reach out for help from a professional 

Handling an Intense Emotion

Feelings of failure, sometimes I think I can't seem to escape them. For example, yet again today I experienced this gut wrenching feeling, the thought felt so automatic, as if I couldn't stop it from reading havoc on my brain. It was this overall "wtf", then a "why am I back in this place of feeling like I fail when someone else rejected me". I was totally filled with anger than a deep sadness, angry at them from rejecting me, angry at myself for being in a situation to be rejected, then sadness about the situation playing out as I wanted, sadness for disappointing myself. 

After those feelings floated around for like 10 minutes, I thought "I'm just gonna let myself feel these intense feelings" after all thats what i would suggest any individual i talk to, to do.

Then I reached out for support which kind of helped, i just vented and said that this all just sucked. 

Finally I thought to myself (about 30 minutes into intense emotion sesh) "where can I find trust and gratitude in this experience". Gratitude tends to be easier for me to find, so I thought, "okay I just learned something, I can be grateful for that learning opportunity". Then I search my thoughts and feelings for trust, I landed on the thought "Let me trust my feelings in knowing that that in rejection it was 100% okay to feel angry and sad and I was not over reacting" and that "I can trust that I will be okay if any person rejects me".

So thats my full circle of handling intense emotions, and I writing this as a way to have closure of that intense influx of emotions and as a way to communicate that when you do intentional emotional healing these methods or perhaps ones that work uniquely for you can be developed to help you cope, recover, find meaning and purpose in emotionally charged situations. 

5 Ways to Boost Your Mood

1. Create more YOU time, do things you love rather than things you "have to"

2. Practice a Digital Detox, stay away from your phone, computer, tv, gaming system for an entire day or two. Only allowing yourself 30 minutes each day to check your email or phone to make sure there are no emergencies 

3. Spend time with the people you love and that love you back. Allow work, and your to-do list to float out of your mind when spending quality time with your loved ones

4. Get enough sleep, and eat well

5. Organize the space you're in, having a clear space can help you have a clear mind 

DBT effective in treating Eating Disorders?

Dialectical behavioral therapy (DBT) is an effective recovery tool that helps women realize their potential to create a meaningful life for themselves, regardless of challenges they have experienced in the past. They are supported in this pursuit through education and practice of recovery skills when confronted with:

  • difficult, overwhelming emotions

  • invalidating environments

  • problematic thinking patterns

  • old, destructive ways of living

Dialectical behavioral therapy is a form of integrated treatment combining behavioral, cognitive, and supportive therapies. Developed to address complex mood and personality disorders, DBT is especially effective in treating persons who have suffered repeated relapses of self mutilation, eating disorders, co-occurring psychiatric illnesses, or addiction.

By focusing on both the behaviors and the feelings with specific skills provided change can occur. Read this article to find out more.

https://www.eatingdisorderhope.com/treatment-for-eating-disorders/types-of-treatments/dialectical-behavioral-therapy-dbt/vs-cbt

Why I find Creative Writing Mentally and Emotionally Fulfilling

There are many ways to get from A to B, so here is another entry from someone that seeks to find passion and fulfillment. 

There are multiple facets to why I find creative writing mentally and emotionally fulfilling. Over the years that I have written short stories and my novel, I have turned over my motivations inside my head, and like a crystal held to the sunlight, I have learned much about creative writing and myself by carefully examining each individual facet for all their flaws and beauties. 

Among my motivations, perhaps the simplest to understand is my creative expression and the exploration of the imagination. Each time I write, I plunge deep within my own mind and discover buried reservoirs of ideas. Now tapped, these ideas bubble up to the surface eager to see the light of day, and each time I express these ideas, I feel relief at the release. This exploration of my imagination and the expressing myself fills me with a great sense of personal satisfaction, which increases when I am able to share my writings with friends, family, and anyone else willing to read and listen.

Writing for an audience can be emotionally fulfilling in its own right. While I believe that writing is, first and foremost, an act to nurture oneself to learn and develop as a person, writing for other people can be a prime motivator to continue writing even when you've run out of steam. Perhaps it is arrogant to think so, but I enjoy writing to a wide audience with the hope that they will benefit from my stories. Whether great or small, words have the potential to influence and change people for the better, if they are willing to change. Whenever I write stories, I write stories that I personally find entertaining, engaging, and meaningful, and while I do not write stories to create high art or great literature, I do hope other people might find something of value from my work. 

Of course, my stories wouldn't even exist if I knew nothing about people, the world, and myself. When I wrote my first stories, they were short and simple things, often based directly from my real life experiences, which as a pre-adolescent were few. As I grew older and learned more, however, my stories grew in depth and complexity. I found that to avoid dry, repetitive, and trite stories, I needed to ever increase my knowledge about writing, the world, and people. This challenges me mentally, and while creative and critical research aren't conventionally entertaining, they can broaden one's knowledge and their worldview. You never know, you might just find a new favorite interest or hobby out of it as well.  

In fact, I have recently discovered a new interest from creative writing: self-therapy. While not conventionally therapeutic, creative writing helps me cope with my personal problems by encouraging introspection into a wide variety of topics. When I brainstorm my stories, I am regularly required to examine my beliefs, morals, and ideals as to why I think certain story elements are of worthy merit to write about. For example, I might ponder why I value self-sacrifice enough to include it as an important plot point or theme in a story, and whether self-sacrifice is an action I should promote or critique in a story. This would also encourage me to look for second and third opinions on such a topic. Depending on my conclusions, I can learn more about my values, why I believe them, and what they mean to me rather than simply taking them at face value. 

    These facets are the main reasons that I find creative writing fulfilling. I do not presume that every writer and artist feels the same; I am sure there are quite a number of people who create for entirely different reasons and who find creative writing mentally and emotionally fulfilling in other ways. Even the reader may find their own unique reason why creative writing fulfills them, and if so, great! That simply fills the world and its people with greater diversity, and if so, then I strongly encourage everyone to write their own stories, if only a sentence and a word at a time.